Tiva
by Taygeta
Summary: Abby has a plan. McGee has no choice. Tony and Ziva have no idea what's in store...or do they? McAbby and Tiva fic. Takes place after "Silent Night".
1. Chapter 1

Tiva - Chapter 1  
By Taygeta

"You see it, don't you?"

Timothy McGee raised his eyebrows and then squinted. He looked in the same direction as Abby and saw nothing special. It was just the pod area he shared with Ziva, Tony, and Gibbs.

Gibbs was out for a few days visiting his father for the holidays – on call, of course, for anything. Ziva was working on some paperwork and Tony was pretending to work on some paperwork as he played an unauthorized game on his desktop. There were a couple of other NCIS workers milling around, but most were also out for the holidays.

McGee pursed his lips, "See…what?"

Then he felt a punch in his arm and the motion of being dragged to the side. Beneath the stairs, his view of the pod was pulled away with the rest of him.

"Don't stare!" Abby said authoritatively in a hushed voice.

McGee raised his eyebrows and then squinted again – this time at a more focused target: Abigail Sciuto. Lest his dark-haired ex have reason to hit him again in the arm, he mimicked her hushed volume of voice, "Stare at what, Abby?"

"Oh come on…Tony? Ziva?" she said with a wide, red-lipsticked grin. "They even have the perfect combo name – Tiva. It's like Brangelina…NCIS-style…but without the adopted kids and the having the babies and the Jen fiasco…though I guess the Frog's daughter might be a tabloid-worthy comparative…"

"You mean – Tony and Ziva…together?" McGee stifled a laugh. "No."

Abby cocked her head and raised her eyebrows in the way that he knew could only mean that he should have just said "Yes, ma'am." But it was too late for that. The Abby lecture would be coming soon enough.

McGee found himself being dragged again by Abby, toward the elevator and to her lab he suspected. He had to admit, he liked it when she paid this much attention to him. It reminded him of the days when they dated – days he often missed more than he liked to admit. But he had to go and date that cheerleader and she had never quite forgiven him for that – in that romantic nights in the coffin (and out of the coffin) respect.

In the lab, he watched while she typed quickly.

"Don't look… crazy secret passwords…"

"Abby, I respect you as a cybergeek – and then some – but you know that if I really wanted to I could probably – eventually – break your crazy secret passwords."

"I know. I'm just letting you know not to try because not only can I kill you and not leave forensic evidence…I can also make your life a living hell by stealing your identity and slipping it into the global market so that you have to deal with credit card fraud and at least 50 guys trying to pass themselves off as Timothy McGee throughout the world."

McGee looked up at the ceiling of the lab, "Point taken."

After more loud clacks of her keyboard, Abby said, "You can look now."

McGee glanced at her computer screen. His eyes widened and he instinctively walked closer, "What is all this?!"

"It's my theory."

"Your theory?"

"I call it…Tiva!" she said with a grand gesture of her arms, nearly knocking McGee in the face by the movement.

McGee's jaw dropped, "Abby, you have photos of Tiva – I mean, Tony and Ziva and a compilation of stalkerish notes. When did you have the time to do this?"

"Not stalkerish, McGee – observant, like the scientist I am. And it's only been in our slow periods the last couple of months. A lot of my notes from before that is just from memory and conversations with people. I am not the only Tiva theorist in this building, McGee – let me tell you."

"But why? Why this? Why them?"

"McGee, don't you know that love is a chemical reaction? But more than that, it's a chemical reaction of circumstances? Think about all the crazy things that have to happen for two people to collide and to be colliding?"

"Love? Between Tony and Ziva? I mean…yes, we all love each other. We're family, okay? But Tony and Ziva in this coupling sense – isn't that kind of their business? In fact, I'd rather not think about this."

McGee watched as Abby once again through him her authoritative look that he knew was going to rope him into a scheme.

"Why are you showing this to me, Abby?"

"Because – you – are going to help me."

McGee could feel the uneasiness rise from his stomach, "With…?"

"Making Tiva into more than a theory."


	2. Chapter 2

Tiva - Chapter 2

By Taygeta

"Abbs, is it not possible that if Tony and Ziva are supposed to happen, it will happen? Why does this have to involve us and now?"

She swiveled around her chair, "McGee, it's the perfect season of love and merriment and joy. We just reunited a father and his daughter. Why can't the holiday cheer come around some more?"

"I'm all for holiday cheer, Abbs, but why can't this happen on the Valentine's Day holiday?"

"Valentine's Day is a day of cynicism as much as it is for a day of love. How can you really bah-humbug this season? People are more open, more wanting of good things. Besides, Gibbs is away. For once, that's a good thing. It means that the Holiday Spirit has shown us a door. I would never have brought this up if Gibbs was here. All these signs are pointing to good things."

"I don't know if it is!"

Abby squinted at him, "Timothy McGee, are you a non-believer?"

"I – I just learned about this! I don't know what to believe."

"Fine. At least let me tell you my plan," she swiveled back to her computer screen.

McGee rolled his eyes. He didn't have a choice in this either. If his job didn't generally involve dead bodies, he wouldn't mind asking for work to pick up a little. But asking for that sounded a bit morbid in a way even Abby wouldn't appreciate.

"I saw that eyeroll," she said.

A part of him wondered why he was still in the lab with Abby. There was the obvious - he liked being in the room with her – and the other obvious, it was definitely better than being tormented by Tony. But as he looked at Abby's "observation notes" he could sort of see what she was talking about. There was something in Ziva and Tony's banter that he had always noticed, but could never adequately describe. Love could be one version of it, but disdain could quite easily be the other.

He decided to pick the choice that would make Abby the happiest. He pulled up a chair and said, "So what's the plan?"

She turned and gave him a big hug, "I knew you were a believer."

In her embrace, he felt that just about anyone could be a believer if Abigail Scuito just gave them a hug. But perhaps he was just more vulnerable than most.

"If you think this might work, I can't see what's the harm in making two friends happy."

"Well, there's plenty of harm in this plan, McGee. It's almost dangerous," said Abby turning back to her computer.

"What do you mean?"

She pulled up a list on the computer with bulleted points under "Risks".

"First, there's Rule #12."

"Gibbs' Rule #12? Never date a coworker."

"Good memory, McGee!"'

"Well, it's on the bulleted list, Abbs," he admitted.

"Oh, right."

"So…why are we breaking Gibbs' Rule #12?"

She cocked her head, "You're kidding, right?"

He shook his head slowly.

"Because even Gibbs has broken Rule #12. Because *we've* broken Rule #12."

They said together, "Because everyone breaks Rule #12."

"Okay," continued Abby, "Next on the list of 'Risks'. What if they end up together and then prove why Gibbs has a Rule #12?"

"Well, we turned out all right," McGee said.

"Well that's because I'm me and you're you…and I pretend that cheerleader doesn't exist."

McGee decided to ignore the cheerleader bit, "But how would Ziva and Tony react?"

"Hmm…Ziva might kill him."

"And Tony?"

"Tony will laugh it off."

"So…our potential results are – Ziva killing Tony or Tony repressing?" summed up McGee. "I think it could get more complicated than that."

"But what about the risk if we don't try to make them try?"

"Abby, we haven't even gotten to the risks that we might enter if they find out that we tried to make them try."

Abby paused, "McGee, this is beginning to sound like a _Friends_ episode. I say, let's just do it."

"Even if Tony might get killed by Ziva in the process?"

"No one ever said love didn't hurt, besides then you get to be senior field agent."

McGee didn't take a moment to pause before saying, "Okay, I'm in. What's the plan?"

"Step 1. Make them go to dinner."


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I wouldn't be writing fanfic if I had any association or moolah from this show.

Author's Note: Thanks for the feedback and support. This is my first NCIS fanfic, so I really appreciate it. Thanks also to a number of things pointed out to me (Deep Six mention by McGee; the phrase "Operation Tiva"), you'll find it all mentioned here.

Tiva - Chapter 3

By Taygeta

"Okay, you have the plan?" Abby asked as they made their way in the elevator.

McGee recited, "You and I invite them to dinner at your friend's restaurant. We make it appear to be a group outing, but you will use your magical Abby powers to make them split us up."

"Exactly."

"What if they don't want to go to dinner?"

"Have you ever known Tony to pass up food?"

McGee paused, "Good point."

As the elevator was nearing their floor, Abby said, "Ready, McGee?"

"Ready."

"Let Operation Tiva commence."

The elevator doors rang open with a ding. McGee peered curiously at Tony and Ziva, his mind now primed with Abby's plan.

When he had last seen them, they had been oddly complacent for once. The quiet apparently hadn't lasted long – they were bickering as per usual. He had always felt he had done a fairly good job in his _Deep Six_ novels to reflect their banter, and for all the truth he had written into his "fiction", he had always assumed that the romance between Agents Lisa and Tommy was fiction, his clever ruse to disguise the facts.

If Abby's theory held its weight, then he would be the one who hadn't quite seen fact. Then again, if Abby had her way he might just get the last laugh for being able to pen their futures before they could themselves, and with that in mind, he was even more dedicated to "Operation Tiva".

"…all I'm sayin', Ziva, is that you can learn a thing or two from me."

Ziva rolled her eyes, "Clearly, Tony, as you remind me of this every other day. I'll let you know if you ever succeed in teaching me anything…useful."

"One, two…" whispered Abby before saying loudly as they walked in, "…that's like me having to explain the taste of the butterfish at Chez Pierre."

McGee expected both Tony and Ziva to mimic his puzzled expression, but the only puzzled expression he found was Ziva's.

Tony looked like Abby had mentioned the beluga caviar at the Ritz-Carlton. His jaw dropped and he let out what sounded like a whimper. McGee and Ziva both looked at Tony now with confusion, even Abby was casting a questioning look at him.

They watched Tony stand up slowly and then put his hands on Abby's arms and look at her squarely in the eyes, "Abbs…"

"Yes, Tony?"

"You've had the butterfish at Chez Pierre?" he said slowly, almost desperately.

Abby nodded, her black braids bobbing up and down.

Tony proceeded to put his fist in his mouth and sit back down. Then he looked on at Abby with a pathetic expression.

"Uh…Tony, are you okay?" she asked.

"How did you get in? You have to be on the waiting list that miles and miles long…"

Ziva let out a haughty laugh, "The great talker Anthony DiNozzo couldn't get himself on some restaurant list to try some dish?"

"Well…that and I may have pissed off a hostess that I stood up once who ended up getting a job at one of the best restaurants in town…" said Tony as his eyes trailed to the floor.

"Typical," she retorted. "Abby, what's so great about this fish butter?"

"Butterfish…" corrected Tony.

Abby ignored him and explained, "The Chez Pierre butterfish is one of the best dishes that I have ever tasted. It's like the Elvis of culinary cuisine. It's like 'Love Me Tender' in fish format."

With the description, they all turned to hear Tony whimper some more.

"So if this dish is so exclusive as Tony here makes it seem to be, how did you manage it? Another recruiting event?"

Abby grinned, "Don't underestimate my Washington D.C. connections. Clear enough people of murder and crimes and you get yourself up in some high places."

"Who do you know? Who do you know?!!" Tony said suddenly.

"Calm down, Tony," Ziva and McGee said at the same time.

"Calm…cool…" Tony replied taking a deep breath and saying slowly, "Abby, who do you happen to know?"

"One of the coolest people on the planet – a few ranks under Gibbs of course – Chef Pierre himself!"

"Chef Pierre? Of the _Chez Pierre_?" asked Tony with emphasis.

"Well, is there any other one of relevant reference?"

"How do you know him?" McGee asked, hoping Operation Tiva wasn't going to be ruined by how more idiotic than usual Tony was making himself to be. He wasn't even trying to seem suave. Butterfish was making him look less of a man, which McGee found ironic, given that Tony was usually trying too hard to look like "the man".

"Well, once, Chef Pierre was accused of improperly cooking some delicate dish of which he is a skilled ninja master chef. While there was some traces of poison found by the M.E., I was able to uncover with forensic evidence that someone had wanted the man dead in the first place and that he in fact had done the killing," explained Abby. "Fast-forward a few years and here I am, best buddies with the man who now has one of the best restaurants in the world."

Tony pointed a pen the air, "One more question, Abby?"

"Yes, Tony?"

"How do you get ME in?" He was promptly hit in the head with a paper projectile from Ziva. "Ow! What?"

"Nice of you to think of me and McGee."

"I was going to ask about you guys…next."

McGee took the moment to glance at Abby who gave him a wink.

"Well actually, that's what McGee and I came over here to do…"

Tony's jaw dropped.

"Pierre just gave me a call recently and said he'd love it if I stopped by with a few friends sometime soon as a Christmas present of sorts. So you guys free tonight?"

"Oh yeah!" said Tony who stood up to kiss Abby on the cheek. "I love you Abby!! When do we go?"

"Erm…in a couple of hours?"

"I am so there!" said Tony, doing a little dance that looked similar to the Snoopy dance.

"Minor stipulation," said Abby.

Tony looked up and said, "Anything."

McGee almost wanted to say, "Just hook up with Ziva and we'll all be happy" but he held his tongue.

"Well, probably more of a problem for me than any of you guys, but as part of the Christmas spirit, I will be willing to do this."

McGee looked at Abby with confusion. He hadn't been let in on this part of the plan.

"I may be friends with the chef, but I can't stiff the dress code," explained Abby. "We all have to dress up."

"I've got the perfect new tie from Calvin Klein," said Tony.

"I have several dresses I have never managed to wear," thought Ziva aloud.

"I've been meaning to wear my new Armani jacket," McGee summed. He wondered if in the back of Tony's head might linger the same thing as his – Abby in a non-Goth outfit would be quite enticing. But on second thought, he figured butterfish might just be winning at this point.

"Like I said, sacrifice," she said with a sigh.

Ziva smiled, "Don't worry, Abby. I'll help you find a nice outfit."

The Gothic forensic specialist smiled appreciatively, "Well then we should get to the restaurant at 7? McGee can drive me and Ziva if Ziva's helping with my outfit? Tony, you want to get there on your own since you're in the other direction?"

Tony replied, "On the dot, Abbs…wouldn't miss it."

Ziva couldn't help but add, "We know, Tony, we know."

Tony smiled and began to type happily and Ziva went back to her work.

McGee and Abby walked back into the elevator.

"So, what do you think?" she said excitedly when the doors closed.

He hesitated, "I don't know, Abby…at this point, I think butterfish and YOU are more likely to capture his heart – or have already succeeded."

"Ye of little faith," she said and then locked his arm with hers, "Wait and see…we're just getting started."


	4. Chapter 4

Tiva – Chapter 4

By Taygeta

McGee adjusted his tie in his rearview mirror before he walked out of his car. Ziva lived a few blocks away, so it hadn't taken long to get there after he had gotten ready. He was a tad early for his 7:30 arrival.

As he walked toward Ziva's apartment, he wondered what chaos he might be walking into. As much as Abby had anticipated the sacrifice she would have to make to bring Tiva into reality, anticipation was never the same thing as execution. Given how much Abby fought tooth-and-nail whenever she had to dress up in court, he couldn't see how this would be any better.

"She's in the bedroom," announced Ziva when she opened the door and then smiled, "You look very nice, McGee."

He walked in, "As do you."

Ziva was wearing a form-fitting dress of royal blue. Her hair was in soft waves and clipped to the side, revealing a shimmering pair of earrings. McGee thought that if Tony's head did not turn – despite the butterfish present – something would definitely be wrong.

"So…when do you think Abby will get out of your room?" he asked.

"Well, we were done getting ready about fifteen minutes ago. She sat sulking at her reflection. I told her she looked beautiful, but we all know how she gets, yes?"

McGee nodded, "But if we don't get to this restaurant, there might not be a restaurant left given the state that Tony looked liked when we left the office."

Ziva nodded, "Perhaps it will help if you talk some sense into her."

With that he walked over to Ziva's room and knocked on the door, "Abbs?"

"McGee, I'm not ready yet."

"Not ready as in – you're not dressed – or not ready as in you don't want to step out into the public in something that requires you not to have your collar or pigtails?"

There was a silence.

"Remember? Christmas spirit?" he said and then glanced over at Ziva before whispering softly and sharply, "And Tiva?"

"What?" Ziva asked with a frown.

"Uh…I said 'Viva' – like 'life'…I wanted to remind Abby not to let this hold her down," he explained quickly before turning back to the door, "And you don't want to disappoint Tony, do you?"

There was more silence.

"Abbs, can I come in?"

"Okay…" a reluctant voice said.

McGee opened the door slowly and was greeted with a sight that made his stomach flutter. Abby was wearing a black dress that revealed just hints of the tattoos on her body. Her hair was up with a few tendrils framing her face.

She looked beautiful.

"I feel like a dork," she announced.

McGee walked toward her, "Abby…"

"It's true," she insisted and then looked at him with a wide smile. "You, on the other hand, look great…like McGee."

He laughed and gave her a hug as a means to whisper in her ear, "Operation Tiva, remember? This is your brilliant idea…."

She looked up at him, "I know. I'm taking one for the team, but this is a hard hit to the Abby quality of lifestyle."

He still held her as she pouted slightly. Looking into her eyes, he then moved to kiss her forehead and then said what was exactly on his mind, "You look beautiful."

"McGee…" she smiled.

A slight cough was heard.

They both looked up to see Ziva by the door way, her body leaning against the frame, "Shall we head off?" She put up her cell phone. "Tony's called me four times to let him know he's already there…waiting."

McGee glanced at Abby who took a deep breath before saying, "Let's rock and roll."

-----

"What took you guys so long?" said Tony when they arrived at the door.

"Tony, we are on time. In fact we are early. Abby said our reservations were at 8. We are here at 7:59," Ziva retorted.

"What if they run out?" said Tony in a hushed voice.

"Then you pick something else from the menu," said Ziva who walked in ahead of him.

It was then that McGee saw Tony felt comfortable enough to give Ziva the once over. He noticed a glint in his eye, something more than just approval and attraction. It was definitely not the same look that he gave Abby with her dress. Tony said that Abby looked beautiful as well, but in a way that was just because it was true. Tony's look at Ziva was in a way that looked as if he was trying to figure out what he wanted to be true.

"Miss Sciuto, I'm sorry, but we won't be able to accommodate you as you've requested," said the hostess – who was luckily not Tony's hostess (he had hidden behind a palm by the door until he could get a good look at who it was).

McGee pretended to look confused, and Ziva really was confused.

Tony, on the other hand, looked as if he was wondering if someone was going to tell him his pet died.

"Why? What's wrong?" asked Abby.

"Monsieur Badeau did his best to rearrange the tables on your notice, but there's just no way we'll be able to fit your party into one table comfortably."

"But there's only four of us," said Ziva.

The hostess nodded, "If you'll notice, our tables that are in four are all full and we have managed two tables nearby that are for two. It was the best Monsieur Badeau could do without disrupting anything."

"Well I wouldn't want Pierre to go through a bigger fuss. It's just nice that he was able to accommodate me at all practically last minute," said Abby good-naturedly as she had the knowledge that she had specifically requested this particular accomodations. She turned to Ziva, "You and Tony don't mind sitting together, right?"

"Uh – I guess not?"

"She might kill me before I even get butterfish," said Tony who then turned to the hostess before Ziva could sneer at him directly, "There's no shortage on the famous dish, right?"

She smiled, "No, sir. We should be fine in the kitchen for that popular item."

"Oh – and Maddie Silver is a good friend of mine, is she working tonight?"

The hostess named Delia replied, "Oh, Maddie? She hasn't worked here in months. Monsieur Badeau found out that she had been blacklisting people she didn't like from making reservations."

"Oh, funny…she didn't tell me," said Tony with a grin before turning to Ziva, "I like this place already and I haven't even had the food."

McGee said, "So it's settled? You guys at one table and Abby and me at the other?"

Ziva frowned a bit, "It just all seems a bit odd…"

McGee and Abby glanced at each other in slight panic.

Abby said quickly, "This place has a list miles long. I seriously just called him up today, so we're lucky that we have four spots in the entire restaurant. But we can just meet up afterwards…get out of these crazy clothes…maybe go bowling!"

"Please follow me," said the waiter to Ziva and Tony.

Abby smiled and gestured them away.

McGee found himself able to exhale, "Abby, I told you that would be weird."

"But it worked, didn't it?"

"…yes, barely," he said reluctantly as he and Abby followed another waiter to a table nearby. "What now? Are we pushing them together into a dinner and letting the butterfish do the rest of the work?"

As they sat down, Abby waved at Ziva and Tony again while saying, "Our jobs are far from over, McGee."

"Well, how are we going to do anything being at a table away from them?"

She looked at him squarely as she picked up the menu, "Haven't you learned now that I have amazing people skills?"

"I know you have amazing peo…" he trailed and then glanced at Tony and Ziva bickering already without knowing exactly what they were saying before turning his gaze back to Abby who was adeptly reading their lips.


	5. Chapter 5

Tiva – Chapter 5

By Taygeta

"Abbs, you don't think it's a bit suspicious that you're staring at Tony and Ziva?" asked McGee, glancing away quickly from the table with his fellow agents to his menu before they could catch him staring too.

Abby looked away from them and said behind her menu, "Okay…maybe…"

McGee raised a brow, "They just said they thought you were staring at them, right?"

She didn't meet McGee's eye and said, "Maybe…"

After they ordered their food – and what could they order but the butterfish? – Abby continued her "covert" observing while playing with her glass of water.

McGee asked, "Have they said anything relevant?"

"Ziva was going on about how odd it seems that we couldn't get a table for four, and how they could have waited. Luckily Tony started rambling on about how he needed the butterfish and that he saw us all the time…"

"That explains why he got head slapped…"

"Then she said that she thought something was going on between you and me…"

McGee choked on his water, "What?"

"I know, right?" she said with a laugh. "It's because of how well played we did the me struggling to get out of Ziva's apartment with this clown suit on. That was a good job, McGee."

He felt his jaw drop a little, "You mean that wasn't real?"

Abby paused and winced. Her expression was an open book, "Well…to a degree, but I figured that it would be more…believable if I embellished a little." Her eyes widened as she continued, "I really appreciated your support because I was like uber divided between Tiva fan and my Abby dress code. I mean, I doubt Pierre's going to even recognize me in this get-up…and we're going to have to pay or something. I totally think I gave Ziva too much reign, but I figured it'd give her and Tony something to talk about that didn't involve arguing or movies…"

"You're beginning to sound like DiNozzo in his usual bad save to Gibbs," said McGee sourly, "You could have let me in on it!"

"Spur of the moment, McGee, I was letting the arrows point me to destiny. And look how well the arrows have pointed so far – Tony's hostess wasn't here, we managed to get the table arrangements off without much of a hassle, and look…" she pointed to the other table. "They're actually talking without duress."

McGee looked up to see Tony grinning and Ziva laughing. It's not like moments like it didn't come up while at MTAC, but it was interesting to see them interacting within this focused context. They actually looked like they were enjoying themselves. If this was a _Deep Six_ novel, this would be how he'd picture Agents Tommy and Lisa having an anniversary dinner.

He then heard Abby squeal and looked over at her, "Uh…are you okay?"

"Perfect!" she said grinning ear-to-ear.

"What could I not lip-read?"

"Tony just looked at Ziva and said, 'you know, I know I've been going on about the butter fish a little…' and then she said, 'a little?' and then he said, 'okay…a lot…' and then Ziva smiled and Tony added, 'I was just going to say that I did notice that you look really nice tonight.'"

"Wow," said McGee looking over at his co-workers who were smiling at each other. "He said that?"

"Something like that," said Abby who added, "We're good, McGee."

"Hey…I am merely a jedi appren…" He began before he saw Abby frown, "What now?"

She growled, "Tony just checked out the woman at the next table. We still have a lot of work to do."

The waiter came by with the food and settled it down on their table.

"A little butterfish might help with the matchmaking skills, Abby," said McGee.

"Oh it will help with way more than this. Maybe it can be like that Sarah Michelle Gellar movie – the one with the magic crab and the baking. Maybe the chemical elements of Pierre's dish is what was calling us to bring this all together…maybe…"

"Abby?"

"Hmm?"

"Just enjoy the food. Tony is."

McGee gestured over to the other table where Ziva was trying not to laugh loudly at Tony's expression of love. Though Ziva wasn't laughing much when she began to eat. Unfortunately for Abby, their mutual looks of love were not pointing at each other.

"Hmm…5 points for the butterfish. Tiva points still pending, " said Abby. "We'll catch up!" Then she took a bite of the meal on her own plate and sighed with satisfaction, "Oh…or not."

McGee tasted the fish and understood Abby's sentiment exactly. But while butterfish was definitely winning all hearts, he'd bet money that "Operation Tiva" would head it off at the pass if Abby had anything to do with it.


	6. Chapter 6

Tiva – Chapter 6

By Taygeta

"McGee, the magic of bowling was supposed to bring them together," said Abby looking behind the cyber specialist, as they peered at Ziva and Tony sitting at their respective desks without much change.

Timothy McGee looked at her with skepticism, "Are you saying this because you want a reason for them royally kicking our asses?"

She sulked, "Don't remind me."

After the dinner at _Chez Pierre_, they had gone back to their respective places to change and head out to the bowling lanes. Initially, this was mostly to appease Abby for getting them into the restaurant, but as they began to play – Abby pairing Ziva and Tony together of course – the rivalry was immediately apparent.

"Watch this, Probie," said Tony as he blew on his fingers and then grabbed the bowling ball from the rack. "Are you catching this?"

McGee rolled his eyes in silence as Tony bowled a strike.

"Yes!" said Tony as he high-fived Ziva and did a little dance with a head bob. "I think that makes us winners…tiiiiimes TWO."

"You guys certainly make a great team," said Abby cheerfully, but through clenched teeth. She turned to her bowling partner, "McGee, I thought you said you were a great bowler."

"I am…my game is not bad. Theirs is just…better."

"When'd you get to be such a good bowler, Ziva?" they watched Tony ask Ziva.

"I was undercover with Mossad once…" She began.

"Well, you can't say this isn't getting them together…" McGee said as he watched them with raised eyebrows.

"I can go with the consolation prize," nodded Abby as her Tiva mode got back into play.

But despite another game and McGee noticing some unnecessary hand grazing between his NCIS partners, they came back to work, to Abby's dismay, without much change. And now with Gibbs back and a new case on the table Team Tiva didn't know how they'd execute the plan with much ease.

"New year, new body," said Tony as he hung up from a phone call.

"I never really understood why it was people thought that with a new year, there will suddenly be less murder and mighthem," said Ziva as she analyzed case files.

"Mayhem?" asked Tony.

"The one related to the chaos?"

"Mayhem," corrected Tony and replied, "You can't blame the world for hoping for change, can you, Ziva?"

"Change can be good, but there is always some bad. I'm sure Ensign Taylor can't help but agree with us on that sentiment."

McGee suddenly felt his head get smacked.

He turned around to see Gibbs who asked, "What are you two standing around here for?"

"Um…I came up to tell you I isolated the fingerprint on the toolbox," said Abby quickly. "It's a crazy match to an Admiral Jefferson. Why would the Admiral be handling a toolbox?"

"And McGee?"

"I was just about to run a background check on Admiral Jefferson."

Gibbs looked at him expectantly, "Just about?"

"Right on it, Boss," said McGee as he went directly toward his desk.

"I'm still doing analysis on the blood splatter, Gibbs, there was an interesting…" began Abby who stopped speaking at the look Gibbs was giving her.

"I know I don't need to tell you to get back to the lab, Abby," he said.

"Then why are looking at me like that?"

"Just to remind you that there are more important uses for your skills right now…"

She squinted at him carefully, "But you're not saying I shouldn't be using my skills on…other projects?"

"Just work on the things I don't need to know about when there isn't work that I want to know things about."

"Got it, Gibbs," she said with a salute as she marched off to the elevator with a wide grin.

Later that day, Abby told McGee the exchange.

"So you think he approves?" McGee asked taking a bite of the Chinese food that they were eating as the Mass Spectrometer processed evidence. Ziva and Tony had invited them for some pizza, but they had respectfully declined citing that they wanted Chinese for dinner. They were a little disheartened at continuing their "plan" when they saw Jimmy and Ducky head out to get pizza with them.

"I don't know about approves, but I think we've found ourselves with a closeted Tiva fan!"

"Hmm…" said McGee thoughtfully.

"What?"

"Do you think this has something to do with Jenny? Maybe if Tony and Ziva get together, it reminds him of the reason why there was Rule #12 to begin with?"

"Gibbs is complicated man, McGee. Maybe he just wanted me to know that he knows what we're up to?"

They heard the doors to the lab open and saw Jimmy come in with a grin.

"Jimmy, what are you doing here? Aren't you out getting pizza?"

"Had to come back for Tony and Ziva to make some more phone calls."

Abby looked at the M.E. Assistant curiously, "Why are you smiling?"

"I had to come to see it for myself. You…McGee…"

"Um…what are you talking about Jimmy?" McGee asked.

"Aren't you guys back together?" he asked. "I wanted to say congratulations. I was always a McAbby fan."

"A WHAT fan?" McGee and Abby asked.

"McAbby?"

"Jimmy, Abby and I are just friends," said McGee and with the words, he felt a bit sad, but unlike the characters in _Deep Six_, the forensic specialist was not in love with his alter ego.

"But Tony and Ziva were telling us that you guys seemed to be spending a lot of time together," he replied awkwardly. "Oh God guys, I didn't mean to – oh my God…do you want me to like spread the counter rumor?"

"Jimmy," said Abby authoritatively before closing the sliding door. "Listen carefully…listen very carefully. I need to know who's side you're on."

He gulped, "Side?"

"Are you or are you not…a Tiva fan?" she said slowly.

"Tiva? Hell yeah."

McGee looked at them in disbelief. He was just getting used to hearing Tiva. Now there was McAbby. Both were relationshipper canons that Jimmy Palmer affiliated himself with. He suddenly felt like he was in a fanfic related to his novel characters.

"McGee and I are not together, but we are trying to get two other co-workers together," she explained.

Jimmy's eyes widened, "Tony and Ziva?"

"Ding ding," said McGee.

Jimmy's expression changed from surprise to thoughtful, "I don't know guys…not sure it's working."

In comparison to his appreciation for McAbby, Tiva support was sorely lacking.

"Why not?"

"They didn't seem very coupley."

"Maybe we need a bigger team," said Abby.

"Ooh…I'm down!" said Jimmy with a huge grin raising his hand. "Just one thing though?"

"What?" asked McGee.

"Dr. Mallard would be really upset with me if we didn't ask him to participate too. He loves Tiva – and McAbby, but I guess that's beside the point…"

Abby and McGee looked at each other and shrugged.

Team Tiva was now four.


	7. Chapter 7

Tiva – Chapter 7

By Taygeta

Ducky pushed the autopsied body of Ensign Taylor into place. The familiar whooshing sound of the drawer echoed in the quiet room – well quiet if it wasn't for Ducky talking.

"Now, Mr. Palmer, you must take very specific care with this."

"Dr. Mallard, I understand complet – " Jimmy tried to reply.

"…Why, I remember one time in my old days in prep school, when we had the co-ed dance with the girls at Constance C. Boarding School, we tried to do our own hand in matchmaking. Oh my were we young lads then…"

"Dr. Mallard, do you really think we can do this?"

Ducky looked at Jimmy with a sentimental smile. For once his words were brief, "Have you seen how those two look at each other?"

Jimmy nodded, "We've just got to make them see it."

***

"So how'd you get Gibbs to set up the shift so that Ziva and Tony would be seeing each other the most?" asked Abby as McGee stopped briefly into the office to grab a few more computer components.

McGee looked at her tiredly. He had just had four hours of sleep after a 12-hour shift at a stakeout watching the movements of the admiral. He had been on (mostly) total alert because he was partner up with Gibbs on this assignment.

In all honestly, Tiva was the last thing on his mind.

"Luck of the draw, I guess, Abby?" he sighed.

"You don't think it's possible that Gibbs is secret Tiva group partner #5?" she asked as she adjusted some calculations on her computer, her face scrunched up in a way that McGee always found very cute.

And while he stood there, observing that he still found it all very cute, he was also very tired.

He had stopped in the lab because Abby had mentioned there was something he needed to see pertinent to the case.

"Abby?"

"Hmm?" she asked looking up, peering through goggles.

"You told me you needed to tell me something?"

Her eyes widen, "Oh! Yes…and here I was promising Gibbs that the Tiva-ness would not interfere with anything."

"Come on, Abby, you didn't technically promise that."

"Well I promised something pretty close to it," she insisted.

"Abby?"

"Hmm?"

"The information you need to tell me? Gibbs is going to kill me if I'm not there – oh – five minutes ago?"

"Oh yes. The shoe prints are not your standard military shoe. I ran the print through and it turned up to be a Dante Allegro – custom-made shoes that run for $800 a pair. Each shoe is unique in design and where he specifically designates his signature stamp. So, if our admiral likes his shoes Italian custom-made then things are not looking spiffy for him."

McGee raised his brows, "I'm surprised Tony didn't catch that one right away."

"Maybe he was too busy noticing Miss Ziva?"

"Okay, Abbs…Tony not noticing expensive Italian shoes?"

She rolled her eyes, "Fine. Even he can't get that head over heels."

***

Tony walked toward his desk with a satisfied look on his face.

McGee shook his head, "Tony, Abby figured out the integral clue about the shoe print."

Tony laughed, "Probie – I'm the one, however, who spotted his Dante Allegro's by sight! Thank you. Once she said that, I knew he was the guy, I could give you the make and model and year of those shoes."

"Tony?" said Ziva sitting down on her chair.

"Yes?"

"You are pathetic."

Gibbs walked in and calmed the tone down, "Hey – Tony was able to match the shoes with the information provided by Abby and get the Admiral to confess. I wouldn't be so quick to fight the means. But Tony?"

He sat upright in his chair, "Yes, boss?"

"You might want to spend less time memorizing your Italian shoe brands for sake of our sanity."

"Like going out with Ziva," thought McGee automatically. He winced at the thought. Abby was influencing him more than he appreciated.

"You okay there McGee?" Ziva asked from her desk.

"Just – just a slight headache."

The group watched as Gibbs walked up to talk to the Director.

Tony leaned back comfortably on his chair again, "So you guys got any plans tonight?"

"Sleep?" said McGee. "I haven't recovered from the stakeouts."

Ziva nodded, "Ah, that does sound nice."

"From the woman that sleeps with a gun? How much sleep can you actually get?" chided Tony.

McGee recalled when the two had been married assassins undercover. He wondered how that situation fell into Abby's theory. If they already interacted so closely then, how was it that there was even an Operation Tiva now?

"Plenty. So that I can be alert when I need the gun," she grinned. "What plans do you have tonight?"

"I was just thinking of putting in a movie. Ducky and Palmer were talking about coming over for a famous Dinozzo movie night. No time like the present."

"Surprise, surprise," she replied. "What's on the schedule tonight?"

"Been meaning to rewatch one of my favorites – Vertigo. Hitchcock film classic featuring Jimmy Stewart as a man with a fear of heights involved in the mystery of a woman who may or may not be dead."

Ziva perked up a bit with the description, "That actually does sound interesting. Alfred Hitchcock was covered in my film class, but we only saw one of his works."

"Well you're welcome to join while McGee here is snoring away. I'll talk to Ducky, Palmer, and Abby and see what they're up to."

"Sounds like a plan. I suppose a little sleep can wait," said Ziva before she began to work on some paperwork with the case.

McGee looked at the two of them and ran their plan through his brain, "Hey guys, I gotta get some paperwork from Abby to process something. If Gibbs is wondering where I am, let him know."

"What paperwork, McGee?" asked Gibbs when McGee turned around.

"Uh - you know, the one with the – um – blood evidence component for the file I need to uh…file?"

Gibbs raised his eyebrows, "Well, go on then, just remember to run that search on the other case before you leave today."

"Uh, yes, boss, of course."

As McGee left Gibbs and a confused looking Tony and Ziva, he was beginning to wonder based on that mini-interrogation how much it was that Gibbs knew and how much he might just be letting things slide without officially claiming Tiva status.

"Abbs?" McGee called out into the lab.

"Back here," she said calling out from her office. "I'm in the middle of a project for the nuns."

McGee walked into the office and all he saw was pieces of wood and buckets of paint.

"Sister Rosemary likes original artwork and her birthday's coming up," Abby explained. "What's up?"

"Well for one you helped solved the case."

"Yay!" she said giving him a hug and then looked curiously at him. "And…?"

"Maybe it's karma on the case-solving, but Tony and Ziva are planning to watch a movie tonight."

Abby's eyes widened and she gasped.

"But….Tony is planning to invite you, Palmer, and Ducky over. Dinozzo Movie Night."

Her face fell.

"So you're the mastermind, what should we do?

"We can either do a group thing and sort of get them together or do you think they'll see a movie together without the rest of us being there?"

"Well Ziva seemed pretty intrigued about Hitchcock's Vertigo."

"That's a good movie," commented Abby. "I just loved the use of the camera perspective and the sensation of vertigo…"

"Abby?"

"Oh yes…uh…I say we all not go and the magic of Tiva will happen if it seems likely they will attend. And you guys have been putting in some crazy hours, maybe they'll end up cuddling on the couch?'

McGee had this image in his head of seeing Ziva falling asleep on Tony's shoulder in a former case. Cuddling? That was just one step away from that.

"Ok. Can we get Palmer and Ducky on the monitor?"

Abby flipped up the camera, "Ducky? Ducky?"

He appeared on screen and smiled, "Abby…we just got this delightful email of possibility. Tony invited us to a movie night this evening. Mr. Palmer and I were just weighing the pro's and con's of attending."

"Ducky, Jimmy, you guys are not attending this event," said Abby sternly.

The doctor nodded, "Quite right, my dear. If they can attend to the movie together, things will more likely ensue than if we're around. But what is the guarantee we have that Ziva will indeed attend?"

"McGee has it on good authority that she's interested – in the movie at least. We can't hand hold them through this entire thing."

"Indeed," replied Ducky. "I was just telling Mr. Palmer here that we have to heed matters carefully in matchmaking. Much of it is that the two people find out for themselves what is possible."

Before Ducky could ramble some more, McGee replied, "Okay Ducky, I gotta head back. Gibbs is expecting me."

Abby closed the camera and both sides wondered if this Team Tiva decision was going to lead to anything.


	8. Chapter 8

Tiva – Chapter 8

By Taygeta

Note: Thanks for all the great feedback everyone!

"Abby?"

It was the fourth time McGee had attempted to get her attention and she was sitting right next to him. They were at a nearby café for lunch. What they were doing didn't involve eating lunch, much to the chagrin of McGee's rumbling stomach.

Finally he pulled on a pigtail.

"What?!" she said in a hushed voice.

"Don't you think something looks suspicious?"

"Do I look like I'm staring at Ziva and Tony?"

"Aside from that," said McGee. "You don't drink coffee."

In Abby's absent-mindedness she had ordered the first thing she had seen on the menu, a regular cup of coffee. McGee made up for her order by ordering a bottle of juice (he figured he'd end up with the coffee) and two sandwiches (egg salad – Abby's favorite, but not as good as Sister Anna Maria's – and tuna for himself).

"Here," he said handing over the items he had ordered for her.

"McGee," she said with an appreciative smile, "Thanks. I'm just so loopy being president of the Tiva club and all."

McGee wasn't going to argue that there had been no voting on the matter. Who needed a democracy when it was quite obvious who was president of the club. He sat eating his sandwich wondering how he was even a member. He didn't even feel the pride to warrant himself as an honorary member.

But as he sat in silence eating his sandwich, his eyes fell onto Abby who was beginning to frown – in that "criminals beware" way.

"Uh-oh," he said under his breath automatically. "What's going on Abby?"

She narrowed her eyes not drawing them away from Tiva.

"Abby…?"

Then she began to fume.

"Let's go, McGee."

He grabbed her uneaten food and his and high-tailed it out of the café, wondering what was going to be next in this relationshipper he hadn't really signed up for.

***

"Ducky? Palmer?" Abby cried out as she walked into the morgue.

The two looked up from a cadaver at the pigtailed Goth dressed forensic specialist who walked in.

"Abby?"

"Emergency meeting," she declared.

"Well my dear we do have to run this autopsy?" said Ducky. "Can't it wait?"

"Two minutes," she declared.

Ducky and Palmer stood in silence, tools over the dead body, and waited.

"What's going on Abby?' asked McGee who was really just wanting to have lunch.

"They know."

"What?"

Ducky looked at the dead body, "You, sir, can wait. This is quite urgent."

***

As Sergeant Mathers' body waited for his autopsy, Team Tiva was finding itself in an ironic bind.

"They've been together for weeks."

McGee breathed a sigh of relief, maybe that meant things could get normal again.

Ducky exclaimed, "Marvelous."

Jimmy replied, "Isn't that a good thing?"

"No," declared Abby.

The men in the room were silent – so was Sergeant Mathers, but he couldn't help that.

"Why not?" asked Jimmy finally.

"Because they've been together, knowing that we've been waiting for them to get together," she said. "I read their lips when they couldn't see us at the café. They were talking about how they wondered when we were going to find out and how long they were going to be able to keep it from us."

"But why on earth would they do that?"

"They think we're going to ruin things and that's why there's the Gibb rule. Because everyone else finds out an ruins everything."

"We wouldn't want that," said Jimmy. "So what are we going to do now?"

"Prove them wrong," declared Abby.

McGee 's eyes widened, "No no no. Why can't we just pretend that we don't know and everyone's happy? We know that we know. They know that we know. But they don't know that we know, that they know. And unlike some Friends episode, let's just keep it that way."

"In all that back and forth, McGee, I do believe that you are correct on this matter."

"But how is Tiva going to be fully actualized if they have to keep it a secret?"

"But it is actualized. Mr. Palmer and I just wanted to make sure that it happened. That the two gave it a shot," Ducky explained.

Abby pouted a bit and then resigned, "I guess you're right. I don't want them to have to break up because of too much office tension…"

"So we're all agreed? We know, but they don't have to know," moderated McGee.

"Agreed."

There was a silence before Abby said, "I guess we make a good team guys. They got together after that movie night we conveniently couldn't make it to."

At her grin, they all gave each other successful smiles before heading back into their post-Tiva lives.

***

McGee headed up to his desk after a more normal lunch with Abby where she talked about the last bowling match she had with the nuns and possibly dating this gothic rocker named Mitch, but she wasn't sure if was really being true to the music or just trying to pick up gothic rocker chicks.

He sat down at his chair and glanced at Tony and Ziva who were already at their desks, going through some research about Sergeant Mathers. He smiled quietly with the insider knowledge he had.

And with his smile, Tony looked up at him .

"What's so funny McGee?"

Then Ziva looked at him and said quietly, "He knows."


	9. Chapter 9

Tiva - Chapter 9  
By Taygeta

**Notes:** _Thanks for reading folks! This is the LAST chapter. Hope you enjoy the ending :)_

Next thing McGee knew he was being hauled into the elevator. If it wasn't Tony and Ziva doing the hauling, he'd be worried for his life.

Because it was Tony and Ziva doing the hauling, he was wondering already what the afterlife would be like.

"Let me," said Ziva as she pressed the stop button.

The elevator powered down.

McGee wondered if that would be the last sound he would hear.

Tony smiled his non-smile, the kind of grin he gave people in the interrogation room. Ziva was silent, in that deadly assassin way McGee had learned to fear. McGee had often wondered if NCIS would lead to his untimely demise, but he hadn't anticipated it like this.

Death by shipper. What a way to go.

"What do you know, McGee?" said Tony.

At the question, McGee wondered what he'd prefer – death by Tony and Ziva or death by Abigail Scuito. Of the two options, he was wondering if it was too late to retire. He didn't sign up for this. This was not in the FLETC handbook.

McGee pursed his lips and took a deep breath, "Only what Abby read from your lips afar…really afar…when we were at lunch today."

"And that is?" asked Ziva with her arms crossed.

McGee looked at them some more hesitantly before admitting, "That you and Tony have been seeing each other and you guys didn't want us to know."

Tony glanced at Ziva, "You're right. He does know."

McGee looked at them and thought it was nice to hear the confirmation. He couldn't help but smile.

"What are you smiling at Probie?" asked Tony.

"Well, I don't see what's so wrong. So long as you guys are happy?"

"Happy? Happy?!"

McGee frowned, "Am I missing something here? You guys aren't happy?"

Ziva gave Tony an exasperated expression, "Someone at lunch was explaining to me his brilliant idea of how to get Abby to stop spying on us by saying we're dating."

McGee's jaw dropped a little.

"And," continued Tony, "Abby must have left before getting the gist of the part that I was joking."

"Oops," said McGee channeling Abby.

"So now, thanks to Mr. 'This is how it would go down in a movie' here, we are now a couple. Gibbs will kill us," said Ziva.

"Before we have a chance to clarify the matter," said Tony. "Just like in – "

"Don't say it," shushed Ziva before he had a chance to utter the name of whatever movie was on his mind.

McGee retorted, "Come on guys, you don't REALLY think that Gibbs is going to kill you guys for breaking the 'rule'. It's there for a reason, but I don't think he's going to kill you over it. Well, especially since you're not actually breaking it."

"McGee, how many people think we're breaking it?"

"Abby, Palmer, Duckie, and at some point in time – me."

"Oh God," said Tony. "That only means one thing…"

"What?" asked Ziva.

"The entire NCIS staff knows."

McGee looked around the elevator, "Um – guys – how long do you think we can stay in here before – "

"No time for those logistics, McGee. You need to help us out of this," said Tony.

"You write books, make up a story," demanded Ziva.

"You wrote us, how would you unwrite us?" said Tony.

"Why do I have to be the one thinking the way out?" asked McGee. "This isn't my fault."

"You let a cute gothic girl have so much sway over your opinion?" countered Tony.

McGee sighed, "Fine…fine…" His mind was in a scramble. "Well, what if you guys just broke up?" His brain shuffled some more, "And what if you guys did this in front of Gibbs, so that we know for sure that he knows?"

"Okay," said Ziva turning the elevator back on.

"Okay?" asked McGee slightly bewildered by the quickness of Ziva's agreement.

"Perfect idea, Probie," said Tony as the elevator began to move back to their floor.

As the doors of the elevator opened, McGee watched it all unfold as he followed them out slowly.

"There's only two things you know Tony," said Ziva loudly as she walked off the elevator.

"Yeah? What's that?" said Tony with an edge toward his voice.

"How to spout USELESS facts about movies and bore women to death."

"Oh yeah?" said Tony with a huff. "Well that woman at the bar seemed quite lively."

Ziva's eyes narrowed. "I didn't notice…"

"Maybe it's because you were too busy making eyes, " Tony did a motion with his fingers in front his eyes, "with the kung fu expert that was sitting next to you."

She smirked, "Oh yes, Ryan, that reminds me to give him a call later."

McGee looked at Gibbs who was taking this all in.

"Everything OKAY, folks?" said Gibbs. The way Gibbs said okay could make someone's skin crawl…and everyone's skins crawled.

Tony sat down with a "Yes, Boss, everything is fine here."

Ziva nodded and glanced at Gibbs, "Just as it should be."

Gibbs looked at McGee.

"Just as it should be," he repeated before sitting down.

After sitting at his desk for ten minutes, he heard his phone ring.

"McGee," he answered.

"I heard…isn't it terrible?" pouted Abby.

For a second, McGee wondered if she should know the truth, but thought better, "Yeah…and after all that work…"

"I guess Tiva's just not meant to be, McGee," she sighed.

"Guess not," he responded looking over at Tony and Ziva. "Guess not."

----------------

Their glasses clinked.

Ziva smiled as a movie on TCM played in Tony's apartment.

"Here's to a job well done, Ms. David," said Tony, raising his glass. He glanced at the screen before returning to look at her, "You don't really think I really have useless movie facts do you? And that they bore women?"

"Perhaps I was exaggerating a bit," she admitted. "And you don't think I'd fall for someone just because they had kung fu skills do you?"

"I'd like to think there's more that catches your eye, " he replied.

"Good," said Ziva. "Because I admire all kinds of skills."

Tony looked at Ziva and wondered at the suggestive qualities that could be involved in her preference to 'all kinds of skills'.

"You really think they believed it?" asked Tony as Gregory Peck crossed the screen with lines he had memorized before in this movie.

"I do. As we speak, McGee is spending time with Abby playing computer games, to take her mind over her failed matchmaker attempts."

"Well, I'm not happy that Abby needs to be cheered up," said Tony, "but it really was for the best."

"You know, they're going to find out eventually," said Ziva setting her glass down.

"Sure, but for now, I kind of like having – Tiva – just be…Tiva," he replied, referencing the name that Ziva hated.

Though hearing it in that context, she didn't mind so much.

"Me too," she admitted as he pulled her closer. She leaned forward and whispered, "So let's just be…Tiva…"

And as they kissed both proved that science was often a mystery that – for now – the theorizers needn't know was true.


End file.
